it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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