Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
