Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
