Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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