No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize