I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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