You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
