I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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