Well douche your snatch and let's go!
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Randomize
