Moan for me like Helen Keller
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
