your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you traded sex for a burrito?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
