if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
