i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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