Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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