In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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