never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
