It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
