It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize