Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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