I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point đź’ś
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
