things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
