is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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