no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
