Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
