He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
