Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
