you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
