the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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