The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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