there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
God, you're like boner-b-gone
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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