I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
