wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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