At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
