i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
