Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
worst night to have a conscience
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
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