You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize