Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
