I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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