I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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