I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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