Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
