I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
