He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I'm gonna fight the coyote
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
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