...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
