She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
