Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Randomize
