omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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