Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
