You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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