I think i peed on brittanys purse
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
