Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
