went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
There r osticjed everywhere
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
we're so committed to being not committed
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize