I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize