my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Randomize
