We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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