Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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