Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
