Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
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