I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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