Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
honey bunches of taint.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
worst night to have a conscience
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Randomize