Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
