I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I have fence marks all over my body
Randomize
