honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
