I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
