after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
