i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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